Blog ini cuma sebuah laku bacalah, bukan bacakanlah.

Sebab bisikan selalu jatuh lembut di telinga, tak seperti teriak yang menghantam pekak.
Tidak seperti gema yang menggelantah dengan dobrakan gelora, melainkan lebih ingin gaungnya pribadi dan dadi abadi.
Untuk disimpan di dalam batin, bagai bersemedi di dalam nadi.

Makna bersembunyi pada selumbar-selumbar semantik, pada pendar-pendar punktuasi. Walaupun ia akan dijumpai bilamana dicari.

December 23, 2008

temple of salvation

Kamu sampai juga. Rindu yang ada kutahan. Genggam erat rosario kayuku. Tujuh tahun di keheningan, runtuhkah?

Tetapi kita selamanya cerita kepahitan nun samar. Sebab lembut saat dijalin. Getir hanya bergulir pada paska. Maka buang sejenak episteme.

Kosong yang keji menggerus udara. Serta merta gigil selusupi antara. Bagimu cuma kretek yang menghangatkan. Aku mempersilakan. Kamu edarkan bola mata hitammu, seraya bergumam, ingin melihat juga ruang kamarku. Wicara tak ubahnya kedegilan sekarang. Jubah kasarku gemelisik menggesek. Dan tudung makin membebani bahu yang terkulai. Kamu dekap aku. Dengan rimba di tatapmu.

Jangan. Cukup.

Suara pintu dibanting. Napas dihela. Kidung sunyi. Berbisik doa silih dalam hati -ora pro nobis, peccatoribus.
Kafani kembali cabikan hati tepat di isak terakhir.

Ini malam yang dingin. Gairah padam.

~ teriring cinta dari lembah ~

December 5, 2008

some someones

It’s funny how from simple things the best things begin ..
- I Finally Found Someone

Thank you for every positive input I have got in this blog. But as a proverb says, there is always a great woman behind every great man, it is right that there is always a person behind (in my case, fortunately, there are more than one).
The entire compliments are regarded to them. Not people behind stories but moreover, the people behind me. I was just a simple sack of wishes and bones before they (not altogether, in each way) have sculpting me, with affection.
So that it will be infelicitous if I do not write down my gratitude.

It is an intermezzo. But it is worth it. Mind that I am using word ‘THE’ for every point, aligning them as the only.

Here’s my someone(s).

the best tutor. hanyu yiyuan wenhua tutor, to be exact. with her flawless tone and accent (which i’m so terrible with, i think will take forever to make me pronounce hanyu as beautifully as you, fuh). best person to talk about chinese literature at the same time flee through kyrie eleison, pater noster, ave verum, panis angelicus (this song is such failure by the way).

the buddy who brings back my smile (combining cheerful c and gloomy g, amazing). the smart one, who never gave up tryin to explain integral, matrix, 3-dimensional (hey, i’ve made it in final exam) to me. my precious. the one that unexpectedly could wash away my dried past. never imagined how we work on it. the cello bliss. the messy stubborn. thank you for making me better after choked out all crap, although you’re just pretending you’re listening. i miss the french toast, so fuck much, babe, and every second when we bite, chew, laugh.

the honey with her lovely voice (eventho sometimes it loses pitch control and inclines to be so annoyingly loud). the paradoxical of genius musician and silly girl (so it’s answering about yellow freak case of her instrument). the person that continually reads this blog, then interprets all these posts very well. and also the one which is waiting for the fraternityforum (thought you’ll wait quite long, told you that i want it to be, must be, massive idealistic work). thank you for every ‘emoticons’ you bring to our friendship.

the guy i knew in seashore last year. the child of krakatau. with whom i’d sat toward horizon, livelong daytime, during my short holiday break. the one that said firmly to his colleagues: “she can sing” when introduced me. deum de dei, how could you be so sure?! you didn’t even hear me complete a bait, it was our first met. thank you for believing me. honestly, you have put a new form to my self-reliance since that time. i will back to you there. maybe not for honeymoon, as you suggested (married is still optional), but i will. i used to.

the woman that is portraying real teacher in her patience, because she carries power inside that patience. she who deserves respect more than other piggish snob/evil titled themselves teacher (by themselves too?). the mother of two handsome sons (they’re remarkably got your beautiful eyes). the first one who honors myself by called this blog of mine literature. thank you for dignifying me, and your unspoken invocation i detect.

the man who has taught me art of corona. the winery with sophisticated gradient. the best male friend of mine. the one who has already had lovely daughter. bet my whole bucks you gonna make a cool dad. i know bastard like you can have high(er) paternal side. thank you for rosa than rose. cause english, or either, can never triumph over latin. ancient breeze. lol. and you won’t ask me about being-a-godmother thing. don’t you dare! because assuredly i deign to be.

the nice balinese girl which is going to continue her study to south korea soon. the person that read my writing in one noon, after that said she might analyze it uneasily (compared it with some prose we had been learning in lesson). however it was one of the best compliment i have ever had, don’t know you still remembering that day or not. thank you sweetie.

the novice that has given me best sharing ever ever, then told me: “don’t be afraid”, straightforward, right into my eyes, i can get it, feel it. i perceive it was kinda sign, trust it as. i’m going to those places for denouement and decision, but what you’ve given me, that was a very nice intro. thank you for letting me know. and thank you for being friendly innocent.

the angel God sent down to me about 6/7 years ago. the first person with whom i can have unlimited discussion about jennifer parker, lara cameron, noelle page, paige taylor, and tracy whitney (do i need to mention about the undeniably inspirational dana evans here?). the one with whom i spend all night long in the bus headed to jogja. talking, one another, face to face, heart to heart. the person that being damn good partner for my first pride-project. the one and only that keeping all my gaudium et spes. thank you for being so splendid soul mate.

the lady which has elegance in highest level a woman (a person even) can be. the blessed and professional runway model. she’s the one who makes me see model and harlot is still distinguishable, makes me do my reappraisal homework. the fashionista (=fashionable sista) whose definition of style i have adopted yet have followed. you put me in believing that some people were born to be a model (clearly, you’re in the top list). the person who helped me breath while i was losing my rhythm. thank you for that dawn (with that macaroni and cheese, that blanket).

the first one who could open my shutting senses. the one who did unveil about indifferentia. he who's resetting my orientation, flipping my visionary, fulfilling my credo. the man i met by chance and united by compassion. the person that could really exquisitely reconcile the damage to regenerate the balance. thank you for, civitate deity. you know i won’t make it without you; or let me say it this way, the comprehension can’t be this naturally harmonious without you by my side. aku ikut kamu, kamu kan imamku (ayat-ayat cinta the movie, red). explicit and implicit.

the greatest thing ever happened in my life. the best alchemist. the man that has been beside me through years of seeking, considering, formulating (in the other words, desire, hope, wisdom). the only person who is able to make my song take flight, to help me make my music of the night. my banister, my charger. the Taurus. the one that i miss all my time. you’re not some flash inspiration (it’s also the phrase that simpletons often use, real sucks, and it has degraded the meaning of course), but you’re source, of this blog. just.. i never experience such a wonderful feeling until that ‘holiday’ camp. love you more than love itself. let destiny takes care for the rest of it (see how faithful fatalist truly i’m). darimu semua bermula, padamu pula semua akan bermuara. danke, winnetou.